i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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