I'll bet she douches with gravy.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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