I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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