i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
