Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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