My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
