They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
