Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize