smell my finger.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
