you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
