I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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