my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
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I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
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hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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