is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
