Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
