she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
