Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
not ubering you a puppy
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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