my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
