no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
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i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
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Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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