I think I am morally bankrupt
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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