Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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