so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
