Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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