There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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