i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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