im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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