the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
