DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
