One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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