Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
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I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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