Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
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I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
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Liz is crying about burritos again.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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