It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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