I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
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when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
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There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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