Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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