Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
