All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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