I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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