Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
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Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
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No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
this hospital has no fireball
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left