oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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