i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
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we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
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It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat