My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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