I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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