Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
