How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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