You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
