EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
