There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
