I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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