Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
