My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Randomize
