CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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