You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
