2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
