you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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