do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
