i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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