my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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