this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
