Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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