found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
