quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
