I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
