I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
