i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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