covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
