God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
There r osticjed everywhere
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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