I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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