My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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